What is your True Power? Identify the beauty & strength in You. Elite Expert Insider Interview with Wylene Benson. Melanie Johnson and Jenn Foster interview Wylene Benson and talk about your personal power and the human potential.
“I believe that behind every perceived ‘weakness’, is the key to a person’s true power. I love creating and identifying beauty & strength in all things, and people. My Passion is seeing the Genius emerge. We all have it. With a little guidance and a few simple tools, anyone can begin creating from the inside. This is who I am…This is MY passion! I look forward to the opportunity to serve you.”
– Wylene Benson
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Melanie: Melanie Johnson here along with Jenn Foster. How are you doing, Jenn?
Jenn: Doing Great!
Melanie: We have another fabulous podcast for you today. If you’re looking for a transformation in your life, then you’re going to want to stay tuned and listen to this. Make sure that you subscribe to our podcast because I don’t want you to miss a thing! If you subscribe, we will let you know who will be on the podcast and who is coming up so that you don’t miss any of these great interviews.
We’re big into journaling and helping you tell your story (we have 1500 books on Amazon), so we wanted to tell you about two of the book we have right now. One of them is a black journal that says Be a Pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside. This is just such a happy book look at, our guest is smiling right now looking at that. This is one of our number one bestsellers on Amazon and we want you to have a copy as well. So make sure you get your Be A Pineapple blank journal so you can write your life story. Then we have another black journal that is a little more sophisticated, it just black and it just says: Write It Down. What happens when you write stuff down and when you write your goals down? They tend to come true. So write down your dreams, your goals, your wants, your needs and your successes every day. Get a Write It Down journal or a Be A Pineapple journal, either one of those is fabulous.
So we have Wylene Benson with us today. She is an author and her expertise is about helping those who are feeling like they’re a little bit lost in life trying to figure out purpose, trying to find direction. If things have derailed you, maybe you had an addiction that took you the wrong way, maybe it was just a divorce, or life just threw you off course. She’s here to work with you to get your life GPS working again. Wylene thank you for coming today.
Wylene: You’re welcome. Thank you so much for inviting me.
Jenn: So Wylene, tell us a little bit of your background and kind of how you got into this expertise of finding people and helping them get on their GPS to success.
Wylene: Awesome, thank you. It has seriously just been a journey for me. I’ve been involved in personal development for many years and really focused on creating success for myself but for some reason, it does seem to always elude me. Almost six years ago, I had a heart attack and the doctor told me that it was caused by stress. And because of that, it really gave me an opportunity to have six weeks of recovery to just sit in my front room and have no stress, no physical activity. So everybody just waited on me. I did a lot of journaling. That’s why I was really excited to see those journals because that really was one of the key pieces that helped me see why I had that heart attack. What happened with my heart, was that half of it shut down. It just quit working. And as I was journaling one day I wrote the words: I’ve been making a half-hearted attempt at finding my purpose. When I wrote that it was like this huge light bulb came on and I was like, wow, my heart was just complying with what the life that I was creating for myself. I didn’t need that other half of my heart because I was only living a half-hearted life. So that was really fun and kind of the turning point in the crossroads for me. To be able to start putting 100% effort and 100% of my heart into finding my purpose and into creating success for me.
Melanie: You know, it’s so interesting how your body reacts to your thoughts and how you’re living. I always tell people, you feel like you’re managing stress well, you think you’re doing this, but that stress goes somewhere, however you’re living your life it’s got to go somewhere. It’s hard to be perfect! So Wylene, walk us through this. What is one of the first things that you do with someone when they come into your program and you start to coach them?
Wylene: The very first thing that we do is what I call a strategy session, and that’s basically just getting really into their hearts of what they want and maybe what has been eluding them. So I just start by asking some questions.
Yesterday I was talking to a young man and he had just moved across the country. He had moved from a place where he felt like he was on top of the world and then he moved to a new place. Even though everybody was really nice and everything, it was just really hard for him to find that place of success again. So I asked him questions and really found out what was missing in his life, what was he was specifically seeking for. I feel like I have a gift of being able to hear the words underneath the words, so I could hear really what he was trying to say. I was able to repeat some things he was saying back and share with him what I felt. In about 15 or 20 minutes we were able to hone in on what he was really seeking for and what he was missing in his life. From that point forward, I gave him an assignment which was to journal. I told him to really write down who you are. Write down what you know about yourself and based on what you’ve learned today in our conversation. Write down who you are and then let me know when you get that done. So that was his first assignment. Other times we will just talk, I will do a breakthrough with them we’ll maybe even go back to a memory from childhood or whatever, to really break through what it is that’s holding them back from truly stepping into being their authentic and hundred percent self.
Jenn: I love that, you know, I think it’s really important what you said about you know having that person that you can go to for that and to talk through and figure out that breakthrough. A lot of times we journal on our own, or we think we’ve got it. But we really haven’t figured it out and we wonder why we keep hitting walls and it’s because we don’t have a coach or a mentor like you to walk us through.
Wylene: Yeah, exactly.
Melanie: Once you discover some of these, I want to call them like ah-ha moments, like oh my gosh I realize that this happened in my childhood or realizing something happened to cause this, what do they do after that moment?
Wylene: We’re taking it back to where the decision was created, there was some sort of a decision made that I can’t be successful because… I’m not free to express myself fully or whatever it is. Once we get back to that moment and they realize, maybe this was a decision that was made when they were at the age of five or ten, and it’s like, wow, this five-year-old has been running my life for the last 30 years.
So once they realize that, then it’s just a logical choice. Finding out, what I’m going to choose differently. I have a process that I take them through that really helps them shift that memory so that if they ever do go back to the memory it’s a happy moment and it’s it’s a grateful moment. It’s like, wow, I’m so grateful that I had that experience rather than, if I hadn’t had that experience I’d be so much further along.
Melanie: I’m going to share an experience with my son. He used to have this terrible fear of rain. So if it rained, he would get anxiety and it was awful. We finally pinpointed it, it was like what you were saying when you go back to where this started and trying to figure that out. We figured it out when he was probably five-years-old, back to that five-year-old again, we were at a baseball game with the kids and a storm came in and we all ran and I remember either my husband or I grabbed my other child and we ran to the car. We realized nobody had Nathan, he was standing out there basically by himself in the storm like a puppy dog scared to death. So I race back and I scooped him up and brought him in. After reflecting back on this I said, but you know what Nathan, you’re living still when you were alone and you didn’t get to the end of the story. The end of the story was someone came and got you, saved you, and took you to a warm, dry place. He said “You’re, you’re right. I have stopped in the middle of the story.” So we had a five-year-old running his life of creating anxiety about rain that was stopping him from moving forward.
Wylene: Wow, that is so so true. That’s what happens, this five-year-old will make a decision in his or her mind and then carry that forward and it will affect relationships and abandonment. Things like that that could carry forward forever unless that pattern is interrupted and they go back and say, “Oh, wow. Yeah, I was really cared for and I wasn’t abandoned,” and they create a different decision.
Melanie: What’s the rest of that story? How do you see people moving forward? Afterward, what are some of the transformations that they have in their life?
Wylene: When this transformation happens an understanding happens and it creates this feeling of being lighter and free to create. You start to think like you are starting a brand new book. You don’t have to muddle through this old story like you used to have, it really is just like the first day of the rest of your life. Of course, we don’t solve the world’s problems in 130-minute session. So I do love it when people will choose to work with me on a regular basis so that we can tackle all those limiting beliefs as they come up. Because you start taking steps forward, what I call a leap of faith and the very first step is choosing something that you haven’t ever dared tell yourself. You could actually create some sort of a stretch that will help you take a leap of faith. Once you step out of your comfort zone, all of a sudden new limiting beliefs will come up because you’re in a different place and you’ll notice different things that were maybe blocking you in the past or that you didn’t even know about because you’ve never stepped in that direction. So, I give tools and resources for them to be able to really go in and address those. They can do it themselves. I teach them a very simple three-step process of how to tackle those limiting beliefs. Many times they become so proficient at it that they can even share that process with family and friends and that empowers them even more.
Melanie: Share it with us, we want to know some of those steps you are talking about.
Wylene: Yeah, I would love to. This process is actually going to be outlined in my new book that’s coming out right now. I was just telling Jenn right before we got onto the podcast, I’m actually thinking of changing the name to GPS for success or GPS to success. But currently, the title of my book is Leap, the inspired path to sustainable success. Maybe it’s a little bit of a mouthful so I’m thinking maybe the other one’s a little bit more concise. So I do outline this in detail in my book, but I’ll give you the three basic steps.
Number one is to just identify the limiting belief. I teach people to go with their intuition because if you try to figure it out with your brain or if you try to go to past experience or whatever, you’re just going to get more of the same of what you already had figured out. If you’re trying to hear something different, then you need to go with your intuition. Get grounded, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and really get into your heart and ask that question. What’s the limiting belief that stopping me from moving forward? It will come to you and it’s usually something really concise. For example; I’m not good enough, I don’t have enough experience or people don’t like me. It’s usually something really super concise that we can work with.
The second step is to examine the cost of it. With the law of attraction, you know that whatever you’re putting out into the universe you’re going to get back. To examine the cost of having a belief that I’m not good enough means that regardless of how much time, effort, money, and whatever I put into what I’m trying to create won’t matter because I believe I’m never going to be good enough. If I had that belief, I’m not good enough. So, is that okay? Do you want to keep that belief or do you want to change it up for something different?
After that usually, people are ready to change it as soon as they identify it and see what the cost is. They’ll then switch that up for some new beliefs like, I am good enough and then I’ll teach them to find evidence that shows you really are good enough. I ask them to tell me about some of the past successes that they’ve have had. Even if it was a spelling bee in third grade that you won, you were good enough to win that Spelling Bee regardless of how long ago it was. Choosing some of those new beliefs and then really putting some emotion behind that. Reading them on a daily basis, visualizing yourself in areas where you have been successful, and transforming that into the mentality of yes I am good enough to take this next step towards my new success. So that’s the three-step process really in a nutshell and it works really well.
Jenn: That’s great! I think a lot of times we think we have a limiting belief, but then we don’t really identify it. Like you said, and sometimes you just catch yourself in the self-talk that we do. I have a mentor, who’s trying to switch his limiting belief that he can speak Spanish. He’s switching that to say, I can speak Spanish and I’m great at Spanish. Then he is trying to learn Spanish every day of course. But when you flub up or if you’re talking to someone in Spanish and you keep repeating in your mind or out loud “I can’t speak Spanish, I don’t speak Spanish, Spanish as hard,” Then that is putting all these limiting beliefs to the forefront of your mind. So sometimes you can identify with what you’re saying, but other times you have to really think about what that limiting belief is and why it keeps happening.
Wylene: And one thing I’ve noticed too that if we stick with those limiting beliefs like I don’t speak Spanish or I can’t learn Spanish, or whatever, it kind of gives us a cop-out. It’s like gives us an excuse for why we don’t have to try as hard. Or if we make a mistake it’s like, oh yeah well I just can’t speak Spanish, so it doesn’t even give us permission to get better because we have this limiting belief. A lot of times its just fear of stepping forward. So we’ll choose to believe in a limiting belief that will stop us from stepping forward just so we don’t have to face the fear. I’ve learned that if I’m feeling fear that means there’s a limiting belief there and that’s just my cue to ask myself what’s the limiting belief that’s at the root of this fear and then I go through my process.
Melanie: That’s good to know. That’s really great advice. I love this three-step program. I mean, that’s really simple. You could even teach it to a child a teenager, it’s not just for adults.
Wylene: And you know what, as parents regardless of how hard we try, we’re going to mess up. Sometimes we’re going to leave our kids in the rain. I actually left my daughter standing on a dock when we were Lake Powell on a houseboat. We started to back up and I looked up and my daughter was standing on the dock and I’m like oh my gosh I’m so glad I saw her because we could have been out on the water and not be able to find her. I would have totally freaked out. But, if we as parents are conscious that they could be taking on a limiting belief at that moment. We can take a moment, sit down, and talk to them about whatever it is that they might be experiencing.
Melanie: Yes, and tell them to remember rest of the story because we came back for!
Well, tell us where can we find you?
Wylene: Oh, thank you. I have a website www.wylenebenson.com that is under construction right now but it’s getting there. You can also find me on Facebook; I have a Facebook business page that is Wylene Benson, author, speaker, and mentor. I also have a Facebook group, we do a gratitude call every single morning because I feel like gratitude and accountability are the two things that allow you to stop creating what you don’t want to create, and beginning to step into something new. So we do a gratitude call every morning and all that information is in my Facebook group called Breakthrough with gratitude. We do break through that three-step process and we do gratitude on that call every morning. So those are some really great ways and watch for my new book coming out.
I do have three other books that are currently available. My first two are actually anthologies where I do a chapter. One of them is Entrepreneur on Fire, conversations with visionary leaders. I do have an experience as a business coach as well. The second one is Success through failing, and I give you a lot of details about my story with my heart attack, where there was a kind of perceived failure but it actually turned into being a success for me. It is kind of a catalyst for success. And then the third book is Limitless that I co-authored with Kris Krohn. It talks about the lightning breakthrough process, which is the three-step process I just told you about and also a nine-step deeper process that goes back to childhood. Then my new book that is coming out is right now the placeholder name is Leap, the inspired path to sustainable success.
Melanie: We love to write books! It’s the best way to get authority and become an expert in your field. If you’re looking to write a book or become a bestselling author. We would love to work with you and you can find us at www.EliteOnlinePublishing.com or on our Facebook page. We have over 50 authors that we’ve made number one bestsellers and we have over 1500 books and journals on Amazon. So we know what we’re doing. Contact us if you would like to write a book. Make sure you subscribe to our podcast because we always have great guests on just like Wylene, that teach you awesome things that will make your life better every day. We’re here to inspire you, to motivate you, and educate you. We’ll see you next time.
Jenn: Bye.
Wylene: Thank you.
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